I'm back!! Woohoo! That means it only took me a year after my third child to get organized again!
This definitely helped me reflect on life at home and with my surroundings.
I know this cutie helped a lot!
So, I was debating with myself what topic to talk about and it occurred to me that there is something I almost push for but with the most careful treading around it and have researched from people I would have imagined doing this parenting thing better than me.
Six months ago, as my 7 year old is asking to play video games, "for just one round, please?" I just try to persuade him with diversional, but more thought-provoking activities. Later that night, my husband and I talk about a new game that is out for, "school-age boys", appropriate in his eyes. Our son can defintely be a bit more mature in his deductive reasoning. So I really shouldn't worry, right?
There is no gore or blood in it. It's a shooting game, so there needs to be a gun on the screen. Kind of like Star Wars with light sabers and sound effects. Of course, also, like a typical bad-guy mom, I let him know he is not allowed to play it without an adult, so we can screen the game as he plays. He knows also, right from wrong and a great big brother, waiting for his siblings to nap, so they don't see "pretend bad guys", as he puts it.
Rewind back about a year before now, this same child had night terrors. What a scary thing! He would wake up screaming, staring straight ahead, and feared for his life about something that was not there. It finally went away like a phase in his life. However, we did our best to have him calm down on video games and t.v. viewing before bedtime. We encouraged reading, praying and cleaning house to help him wind down for the night. This would be a lot easier to maintain during the school year. Now it's summer. Some, not all, of his friends stay up later and are allowed to play games we would never allow just yet for him. However, when we all get together, the trouble with maintaining our stance and being a little bit lenient starts rising. Who wants to be the parent that "helicopters" play dates all the time? I mean, weren't we the generation that were told by our parents,"go out and find someone to play with. Come back by dinner." or something to that effect? Back then, our parents met because we became friends first. Fast forward to present times and we befriend certain parents whose kids become friends with our kids. Things are pretty different for our kids.
So, about a couple weeks ago, I found myself acting like a crazy parent. I almost want to add to that "once again". In the rush of running errands with all 3 kids and myself in the car, I wasn't paying attention to what toys were being brought by them in the car as well. During the middle of my drive, I found myself yelling at my son, "Don't put that thing out the window! Put the window back up! What are you thinking??" His response, "I was just playing pretend-fight." Yes. Of course. He brought a toy gun, like the cowboy style ones. I ended up explaining to him the what-ifs of someone seeing him from another car and their possible perspectives. That is when I decided I needed to talk about this.
It's a world of crazies out there. Everytime you turn on the T.V. news, there is a crazy new incident.
Bullying, racism, reverse racism, showdowns, and just horrible people ransack our living rooms. This is why I ban news channels, which my older parents watch now and then, when our kids are around. We screen games, ban news, restrict it to just weather, decide who our kids' friends will be, and don't let them go past our shopping cart (forget just being in visual range). Now that I have three children to raise and be confident in going out in their world, I feel like my confidence is going way down as a parent. I question everything. I know my husband understands my worries, but also thinks the way we grew up should somehow be put into the kids' playtime. Because...hey, we turned out ok!
My worry involves everything from, "will he start night terrors again" to "will he be bullied because he is being helicoptered" and "am I diminishing his independence, self-confidence and self-esteem?" Besides trying to keep up as a mom, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law and sister, I often think at night, should I have just played games with him that we used to play at his age or should I have just kept quiet, so as not to make my child wonder about the more evil things in the world? I mean, I do know of parents that don't allow their kids to buy toy guns or even swords. This shielding and painting a pretty world is a big question mark to me about raising kids over a certain age.
I can't believe he is 7 already. I heard in about 3 years, they should have already had the birds and the bees talk, in a more thorough way than "mommy and daddy kissed and you happened." I have no idea how I won't get my first gray hair by then....(biting my nails now). Somehow now, the talk will have to now happen 3 total times. Oh boy. I hope things change a little in this world to help us breath a little easier. Wouldn't it be great to just send the kids to the kids in the house 2 streets away without wondering if there was any foul play to worry about? Maybe my kids will be THE KIDS that everyone else wants to be friends with and will just come to our home until they turn 30. Yup, sure. I will keep telling myself that my kids won't get sick of me ever, even at 14. To all the new parents out there, Godspeed.
