Oh, the sentimentality of it all...

As a dutiful and efficient mom of young kids, I started putting or giving away clothes that my youngest baby will no longer be able to fit into.  He is the last of the crazy monkeys we will ever have.  It was a joint and cognizant decision my husband and I made.  What hits me now so hard is what no one ever told me.  The heart sinking every time I put away a too-small outfit.  The same outfit that was a hand-me-down from our oldest child when he was an itty-bitty baby and had his first smile or his first walk in.  Just when I get over that, I find another outfit I can't believe doesn't fit the baby anymore and I keep telling myself I can't keep all these old clothes.  I tell myself, just some, not all.  Why didn't anyone warn me about my emotional fight regarding this?

Then, just when I think I got my handle on all of the clothing department mayhem, my middle child reminds me to stop just anxiously awaiting my "short time of quiet" all the time.  Yes, us moms always need a break.  So, when my parents came over to watch the babies while I go pick up my oldest from school, I was quick to say, "ok, you are going to stay home".  My daughter's response:  "But Mommy, I love you.  That's why I want to come with you.  I love you and want to hang out with you.  Just for a little bit.  I'll be good."  How the heck do you say no to that?? Also, it's not like she is always getting in trouble during the walk.

Today, my youngest showed me just how guilty I should feel for having him babysat for less than an hour so I could get to a meeting.  The entire day so far has been an angry monkey clawing at my sides, preparing to do a hard latch, should someone else come by.  However, I have to tell myself once again, "It's because he loves me that this is so hard".  

We are a family of hard loving.  My oldest still gives me the biggest hugs and cuddles but demands that he is the wisest, strongest and jedi master of all seven year olds.  If it weren't for all the hard loving, it would just be me yelling to be heard by my kids.  Now, I am trying to think before I raise my voice and realize the day will come when I am tuned out and they might not care so much about saying or doing these things anymore.  Then, I will wish I had complained less and enjoyed the actual moments first.  

Showing and doing things with love, all the other things get turned down.  Prime example, I was going to get annoyed with my daughter doing something wrong at the store.  I overhear another mom ever-so-calmly tell her child to "stop doing it because it bothers mommy and" ends with"  because mommy loves you".  It turns out that was motivation for me to re-evaluate my current state of mind.

With all the crazy things in the world, let's keep our kids grounded in this family love.  No matter who we vote for, where a bully is, what obstacles may come or when us parents leave this earth, only we have the power to leave our kids the lasting memory that we tried to love them back hard too.  It is our honor, not our duty as parents.  I, personally, wouldn't have it any other way.  Hopefully, it will spell out to our kids how life should be in their future as well.

So, go ahead, love hard.  Simply because life is hard, they won't back down and will have strength to move past it because of that love.  Thanks for being such a good parent and nodding your head in agreement!